What It'll Actually Take for You to Get Comfortable
We often mistake comfort for the absence of discomfort
You’ve likely spent much of your life seeking comfort. You’re not alone—many of us mistake comfort for the absence of discomfort, gravitating toward familiar routines, unchallenged beliefs, and unquestioned systems. Society often tells you that comfort is something you can buy, something found in convenience or the stability of the status quo.
But this version of comfort is fleeting and often exclusive, available only to those who can afford to ignore the discomforts experienced by others. True comfort, the kind that runs deep and lasts, isn’t about avoiding discomfort at all. It’s about confronting it—head-on, honestly, and with a commitment to change.
Let's reconsider what comfort really means. It’s not about retreating into safety or clinging to the status quo, but about leaning into discomfort, transforming your defensiveness into curiosity, and using discomfort as a tool for personal and collective growth.
True comfort is only possible when you align your life with your most examined self and actively work to dismantle the systems that create inequality and harm.
Historical Context: Comfort is a Social Construct
If you look back at history, you’ll notice that comfort has always been tied to power. In ancient societies, comfort was a luxury reserved for the elite. As capitalism emerged, comfort became commodified—advertised as something you could buy. The idea that material wealth and consumption could provide comfort is deeply ingrained, yet it has always relied on the discomfort and exploitation of others.
In the mid-20th century, particularly in the West, comfort was sold to you through the lens of suburban living—away from the "discomforts" of urban life, inequality, and labor struggles. But this version of comfort was built on exclusion. If you belonged to a marginalized group—whether by race, gender, or economic status—you were likely barred from accessing this suburban ideal. What was marketed as the ultimate comfort to some came at the expense of systemic oppression for many.
The Modern Trap of Comfort
Today, the pursuit of comfort may feel more accessible than ever, but it’s still illusory. You're told that comfort comes from convenience—through quick deliveries, on-demand services, and technology that customizes your experiences. The gig economy, for instance, offers you convenience at the expense of the workers who make it possible. The ease you experience comes from an invisible web of discomfort, labor exploitation, and inequality.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, you may have felt this split even more acutely. For some, working from home offered a new kind of comfort—more flexibility, more time for self-care. But for essential workers, the pandemic brought heightened insecurity and risk. The pandemic highlighted that comfort is often a marker of privilege, with some able to avoid discomfort while others are forced to bear its full weight.
In this modern context, comfort is often sold to you as a personal achievement or a consumable good. But this kind of comfort is shallow and temporary, disconnected from the systemic realities that shape your life. Real comfort—the kind that nurtures your humanity and builds lasting peace—requires much more than material ease. It demands confronting the discomfort that lies beneath the surface of the systems you participate in every day.
Discomfort is a Gateway, Not a Threat
You likely experience discomfort as a signal to retreat, to protect yourself. It’s a natural reaction. When your beliefs, your identity, or your security are challenged, your instinct is to shield yourself. But what if discomfort isn’t a threat? What if, instead, it’s a gateway to something greater?
The discomfort you feel when your worldview is questioned doesn’t mean your beliefs are wrong or invalid; it’s a sign that those beliefs need closer examination. You might be tempted to avoid discomfort, but in doing so, you also avoid the growth that discomfort signals. What if, instead of retreating, you approached discomfort with curiosity? What could you learn if you sat with that discomfort a little longer?
Ask yourself:
What’s behind this discomfort?
What assumptions am I protecting?
What could I discover if I explored this feeling rather than avoiding it?
When you treat discomfort as a guide rather than a warning, you unlock the potential for deeper understanding. You start to see that the discomfort that comes with questioning your role in an unjust system is an invitation to grow. Discomfort, when embraced, is not the enemy—it’s a gateway to true comfort.
Transform Defensiveness into Curiosity
You’ve likely felt defensive when your worldview has been challenged. This is natural. When the systems you’ve relied on—capitalism, social norms, or your identity—are questioned, it can feel like you are being attacked personally. But this defensiveness is a trap. It blocks you from engaging with new ideas, from questioning your role in the world, and from evolving into a more self-aware version of yourself.
Imagine what would happen if, instead of defaulting to defensiveness, you leaned into curiosity. Instead of defending what feels comfortable, you could ask yourself why you feel threatened. What is this defensiveness protecting? What might you discover if you allowed yourself to question your assumptions instead of reflexively defending them?
Cultivating curiosity in the face of discomfort is where growth begins. The difficult questions that arise—about who you are, what you believe, and how you participate in the world—are the very questions that lead to a deeper, truer comfort. This kind of comfort isn’t about protecting the status quo or avoiding pain; it’s about aligning your life with your most examined and authentic self.
Move from Guilt to Responsibility
When you begin to question your role in systems of harm—whether it’s capitalism, patriarchy, or systemic racism—you may feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. You may feel guilty for benefiting from these systems, or for not doing enough to change them. But guilt, if left unchecked, becomes paralyzing. It convinces you that you are trapped by your past choices or by the systems you inhabit.
The key is to move from guilt to responsibility. Recognize that while you’ve been complicit in flawed systems, you are not defined by them. You are defined by what you do next—by the actions you take to change these systems and reduce harm moving forward.
Ask yourself:
What actions can I take to reduce harm?
How can I shift my participation in these systems to create a more just and equitable world?
Guilt without action is useless. But when you accept responsibility, you transform that guilt into a force for change. You free yourself from the weight of complicity by stepping into the role of an active participant in creating a more just society. This is where true comfort begins—not in denying your role in unjust systems, but in taking responsibility for your actions moving forward.
Discomfort is a Tool for Liberation
From a leftist perspective, the systems you are part of—capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy—thrive on your avoidance of discomfort. These systems perpetuate inequality by convincing you that comfort, especially personal comfort, is the ultimate goal. But true comfort, rooted in justice and equity, requires dismantling these systems—not just seeking ease within them.
Collective Liberation Over Individual Comfort: You’ve been taught that individual success within a flawed system is a marker of comfort. But real comfort, the kind that is liberating and lasting, comes from collective action. True liberation can’t be achieved alone. It’s about standing in solidarity with others to dismantle the systems of harm and build something better.
Radical Accountability: You need to hold yourself accountable, not just for your personal actions, but for the systems you participate in. Radical accountability means not just recognizing your complicity, but actively working to change the systems that harm others. It means constantly asking, How can I be part of the solution, rather than perpetuating the problem?
Building Systems of Real Comfort: True comfort will only be possible when we collectively build systems that prioritize human dignity and equity. This means shifting away from the capitalist notion of comfort, which relies on exploitation, toward systems that provide universal healthcare, living wages, and cooperative economies. The comfort you seek will only be real when it’s shared by all.